When going through cervical cancer treatments in 2019, I had the opportunity to have some insight into the cancer community. What an eye opening experience.
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Before cancer, I always struggled to find words to say to someone that was struggling with their health. So I would go quiet, and not say anything at all. Saying the wrong thing can be completely damaging to someone. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, so I didn’t know what to do.
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I personally struggled with what to say, or not, so I know I’m not alone in this. One thing I do know, there’s a few things you should never say to someone with cancer, it can be so damaging without you knowing it.
Here’s my top 5:
1️⃣ But you are so young… – I can promise you, people of any age didn’t fill out an application to get cancer young or old. Just because we are in our 20s or 30s doesn’t mean we don’t get cancer.
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2️⃣ Cancer isn’t as hard as it used to be…. – yes, this can be true but it does not make the cancer we are or had fought any less deserving to be concerned about. Cancer is cancer, and it’s scary. Big or small, back in the day or not, we all are fighting a battle.
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3️⃣ That’s a good cancer to have.. – Well jeez. I didn’t know there were any good cancers to have 😅 Being real though, please don’t say this to someone. Cancer is sooooo hard, stage 1 or Stage 4. We are all struggling. 🙏🏻
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4️⃣ Everything is going to be fine. – As motivating as this sounds, it actually is dismissive. Truth is, you don’t know if everything is going to be fine. No one except the doctors and god know if we are going to be ok.
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5️⃣ Maybe you should have… – Yes I know, if I had eaten more carrots it would have prevented my cervical cancer. 😅 Comments like this sound like your blaming the person who got cancer.
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As I continue to work through remission, I’m reminded that others are not as lucky as I am. I know this topic is uncomfortable but it’s important to open it up. For all the cancer fighters and warriors in your life, please don’t say these things. Approach them with kindness and ask the best way to support them. I promise you, they will thank you! ❤️